Make an Appointment: 424-450-3911 |   [email protected]

  • 3 Ways to Build Intimacy with Your Partner

    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is famous for having said, “Into each life some rain must fall,” meaning life is always going to throw us some heartache. This same sentiment can be said about relationships. Into each one some irritability, frustration and disinterest tends to fall.


    But while it’s common for all couples to go through a period of disconnection, this does not have to mean the relationship should end or that the life in the relationship can’t be revived.


    Couples who put in the time and effort to reconnect with one another often feel even closer for it.


    Here are 3 easy ways to start rebuilding intimacy with your



    1. Focus and Listen


    Thanks to the proliferation of digital media and mobile devices, we live in a world

    that seems to demand that we all become proficient multitaskers. The problem

    with this is, it’s hard to shut off this instinct.


    Most of us are hardly able to have a conversation with a loved one without checking our social media pages or texting a co-worker. This inability to STOP and focus on just being with your partner can absolutely destroy intimacy.


    If you want to reconnect, you need to become aware of when your mind is

    wandering. Redirect your attention, truly focus on your partner, and listen closely to what they have to say. Being heard, really heard, will make your significant other feel loved and cared for.


    By doing this for your partner, you will also make them feel special and inspire them to give you the same respect.


    2. Appreciate All They Do


    It’s easy to take your loved one for granted.


    Reconnecting with your significant other requires your appreciation for who they are and all that they do to enrich your life.


    Think of some things you appreciate about your partner and thank them. Maybe they always take out the trash without being asked, or they bring you a cup of coffee in the morning when you first wake up, or they do the dishes every night.


    Take the time to recognize their efforts and thank them from the heart. You will both feel great.


    3. Have Fun


    Building intimacy is important, but you don’t have to be so serious about it!


    One of the absolute best ways to reconnect with your loved one is to laugh with them. This is especially true if you have been together for many years; you forget who each other used to be.


    By experiencing different and interesting activities together, you can learn new things about each other and see your relationship in a new, reinvigorated light. 


    For some couples, building intimacy can require even more work, especially if there are trust issues. In these situations, working with a couples’ therapist can help rebuild trust and a feeling of safety that allows the two of you to work through issues so you can reconnect.


    If you or someone you know is interested in exploring therapy, please contact me.

    I’d be happy to discuss how I can help.