5 Important Relationship Questions You Need to Answer
You’ve probably heard this a thousand times, but here it is again: having a healthy, enjoyable relationship that stands the test of time requires constant energy to keep it together. You and your partner must be ready to put in the everyday effort it takes to sustain a high-quality, loving relationship, and one way to do this is through constant evaluation of your relationship.
This list is not exhaustive; however, here are 5 important questions to answer both individually and as a couple.
These questions will give you a clearer picture of your relationship:
1.Do you feel safe in the relationship?
In your relationship, you need to be able to really be yourself without fear of being judged or abandoned. Do you feel like your partner has the capability to stick with you through tough times? Will they be there if you had cancer or depression? If it is difficult for you to answer this question, seeking professional help can provide a safe place to talk about this.
2. Are you both happy?
As humans, we rely on our romantic relationships to provide us with some level of happiness. Having bad days is normal, but if your relationship is burdened with anxiety and tension then there might be a problem. If you find yourself feeling sad or angry more than you feel happy, then you need to look more deeply to see the root cause of the unhappiness you are feeling. Relationships require continuous attention and effort, but they need not drain you emotionally or affect your mental health. It is important to have a support system in addition to your intimate relationship that helps you in times of need.
3. Do your plans and visions for the future align?
To strengthen your commitment, you need to agree on your vision and goals for the future. Is your partner ready to show up, put forth the energy it takes to make your relationship flow and grow every day and accept you fully without harsh criticism? You need to be sure your partner is in it for the long haul and you’re on the same page about what’s important to you in life. Or you need to be in acceptance of and respect one another’s differences.
4. Are your arguments healthy?
Arguments are normal, but how you argue matters. Are you able to keep your arguments from getting out of hand, find a way to calmly discuss and understand each person’s perspective, whether you reach a resolution or agree to disagree? Conflict between you and your partner needs to unfold in a way that makes you both feel heard. On the other hand, if arguments between you and your partner leads to violence, then you need to rethink things and most likely seek the help of a mental health professional, at the least.
5. Are you well-matched sexually?
– Sex is important in any romantic relationship. Are you physically attracted to each other? Do you agree on issues relating to sex such as when and how it occurs? If one person feels sexually deprived or pressured to do things, they are uncomfortable with, it could lead to conflict and tension in the relationship. It’s a great idea to create a safe space in your relationship where you can openly talk about your sex life.
If you answered yes to most/all the questions above, then you and your partner are probably in a great place.
If not, carefully reflect on the questions and revisit them when you’ve had time to think about them completely.
It’s also a great idea to have a third party ask questions that are too tough to ask yourselves. If you’re struggling with these questions, and need a therapist to talk to, please give me a call. You can also text or email me. I am happy to further discuss how I can help.